To where my whole images are going back…

It was for 12 years ago, when I’ve been to Warsaw for the first time. Strangely I don’t remember at all, from where exactly I’ve arrived in the polish capital. From Krakow or Wroclaw? Anyway it was my first visit in Poland ever. I got off from the train to the platform. It was dark and smelly dumped. It was my first impression of Warszawa Centralna. There are such kind of dark stations like that of Warszawa Centralna all over the world.

Warszawa Centralna, Warsaw, Oct.2009

Some of S-Bahnhof or U-Bahnhof in Berlin too. Especially in the stations of U8. Their darkness at the berliner metro stations especially in the winter season and their smells were always coming back to my sense and caused a kind of hallucination remind me back to Berlin, wherever I was outside of Berlin. Then I missed always Berlin. First the smell of the metro stations and the dark U-Bahnhof. And Berlin. This memory caused by this sense is never attached to any other place on the earth than to Berlin. Of course it is one of the reasons why I’ve decided to be back to little later after my short stays in Berlin in 2001 and in 2002. That smell always followed me whenever I was outside of Berlin. That’s a part of reasons why I wanted to go back to Berlin.

I had always a kind of hallucination bringing me to somewhere else in my mind when I was in a dark and dirty subway station like in Brooklyn, in Dobutsuen-mae in Osaka or in Universitate in Bucharest. Especially I remember very well that I felt quite strong hallucination when I was in a metro station, Vagzlis Moedani in Tbilisi, Georgia, shortly after the end of the south ossetian war in the summer 2008. I’ve never been to the so dark metro station before. Of course I am still very sure that I had a strong hallucination caused by the dusk of that metro station. But I did’t know at all what the whole hallucinations caused. I’m not sure at this moment.

So Warszawa Centralna again. It’s still dazzlingto imagine the atmosphere I felt at the moment when I got off from the train. After long running in the underground tunnel under the polish capital we have arrived there. I don’t know any another train station anywhere else so dark lighted station like this Warszawa Centralna at that time, when I was there for the first time for twelve years ago. It was even hard to see and to find out the sign of exits. And chaotic corridors filled with people going somewhere or coming back to the polish capital and amount of small shops “sklep” on the both side of corridors. It was really dumped and it always reminds me of my first trip in Poland. It is still something typical of Poland for me. Maybe for any other travellers who’ve ever been to Poland too?

For two years ago in October 2009 I stood on the platform of Warszawa Centralna again. The Station was so crowded as well as it had been for 12 years ago that I went hardly forward between the crowd of the people waiting for the train taking me back to Berlin, “Berlin-Warszawa-Express.”

Well, the train has arrived as soon as I reached to the sector 2 of the platform number 4. At that moment I saw almost all same view which I’d ever seen before. One moment later I suddenly recognized that I’ve ever met this scene. I was already on the board of the train bringing back me to Berlin, my second home town since 2003. This flashback of the memory brought me back exactly to the moment for 12 years ago when I’d waited the train going to Berlin and bringing me to the outside of the land with so depressing landscapes, dark clouded sky, heavy traffic jam, chaotic markets and train stations. I wanted to escape from a sort of depression caused by landscape and streets in the polish late autumn as soon as possible. Everything of the country was for me a real depression, which I’d never experienced before in my life. I was still nineteen years old there.

Probably I followed my shadow casted on the dusk of that platform of Warszawa Centralna one late autumn day shortly after 6 o’clock in the morning. I’ve already forgot the exact date when I was standing there and the moment my shadow was casting on the dark lighted platform, which now seems to be a little bit lighter than at that time, but I don’t know anymore.

So almost all nothing has changed there in the last decade. Only I know now is that I was standing on the platform of Warszawa Centralna again to go back to Berlin. Thus my next 10 years with Warszawa Centralna has begun once again.

It’s just a part of reasons, why I always go back to the direktion, so to the east, from where I came from.